Lemonade and 'doing it'
by Jayjay1304
Summary: Really bored and it's one o'clock in the morning and dude, I just can't sleep. BEWARE, RANDOMNESS WHICH WILL BOGGLE YOUR BRAIN, WILL OCCUR :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I just had a random idea so I thought i'd type it up! ;)**

**It's like 1 in the morning so this will have ****_some_**** typos.**

* * *

"Come on babe, it'll be fun!"

Don't EVER try and make Jade do something for community because she will never do it, just, never.

"NO! YOU KNOW I ABSOLOUTLEY HATE LEMONADE SO WHY WOULD I WANT TO MAKE IT FOR LITTLE FIVE YEAR OLDS WHO RIDE AROUND THE NEIGHBOURHOOD ON THEIR TWENTY DOLLAR TRICYCLES!"

"PLEASE, IT'LL BE SO FUN! WE CAN SPEND TIME AS FREINDS FOR ONCE, JUST ME, YOU, CAT, ANDRE, TORI AND ROBBIE."

"YOU THINK THOSE HUYS WILL MAKE IT ANY BETTER?"

" WELL I TRIED!"

"I'M HUNGRY LET'S HAVE BREAKFAST!"

"WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?"

"I DUNNO MAYBE BECAUSE THE AUTHOR OF THIS SHIT STORY FORGOT TO TURN THE CAPS LOCK OFF!"

"OMG! YOUR TOTALLY RIGHT, IT SEEMS WE CAN'T STOP SHOUTING."

"Finally, she found the unlock caps lock button."

"There isn'y an 'unlock caps lock button'."

"Don't sass me!"

"Come with me to the lemonade stand, please." He turned her face to meet his big brown eyes, looking all sad and lonely for whatever reason because this author dose'nt actually know what word to describe his boring, sorta cute, brown eyes with!

"No, I will not be dragged into this because my incredibly sexy boyfriend is begging me with the most adorable brown eyes on the whole wide world! I mean, it's not like the author to this crap story is going to suddenly make Beck bipolar and have him pin me to the floor and tell me to go with him and then he'll give me a good time."

But the author feels like pissing Jade off so the author is now going to have a scene where Beck pins Jade onto the carpet of his RV and force her to go with him to the lemonade stand.

He lunged towards her and pushed her onto the floor, he is now hovering over her, his hands on either side of her waist and he's growling at her to come with him otherwise he's gonna give her a 'if ya know what I mean'.

* * *

"I can't believe you made me come here with you!" Jade is standing behind the lemonade stand, wearing a sunshine yellow apron with a frilly, spring green hem to it. She's currently sqeezing the juice outta the lemons because hey! That's the best way to make her get her anger out, and that's why when her parents made her join a summer camp, she had seven jugs of lemonade three hours after she came home.

Then outta nowhere, a red-headed girl who was named after a cat, called Cat.(Her brother wanted to call the Cat knife but his parents did not think that was acceptable and he got sent to the hospital to be checked out at the mental ward, immediately.

"Heyyyyyy! I have a hangover cuz I went to Robbie's house last night and I got drunk on apple juice and now I jave a MASSIVE headache and the police are after Robbie because he did some under aged drinking!"

Suddenly a biy with a afro and big geeky glasses comes running up to us begging us to hide him somewhere but before we can say no, a police officer comes out of thin air and puts robbie in the back seat. Then the car magically poofs away!

"Okay guys, I can take the lemonade stand from here!" Cat chirps happily.

Now the author has got tired of this scene so she will skip to another day.

* * *

"That was mind blowing babe!" Beck beams at his girlfriend, who is Jade if you must know, while she is glowing because ladies do not sweat, they glow and all that other bullcrap.

"God, i've been waiting for that since YESTERDAY!" Yes, because they are very horny, hormonal and emotionally confused teenagers, they do 'it' every day!

The author thinks that it is best for her and this story that she does NOT include a scene from last nights events because that will give you incredibly disturbing visions that wont let you sleep at night.

"Let's do it again because I am emotionally confused, my hormones are messing with me and I NEED Marvin the cat, (he's not a real cat)."

So Beck and Jade 'do it till the point where Jade can't really walk properly and Beck can't actually feel his pelvis.

THE END YOU EMOTIONAL, HORMONAL WRECKS.

:)


	2. Willy wonka and the chocolate factory :

**It's CHRISTMAS! And I am sooo bored so, I thought i'd do a random one-shot about christmas!**

Candy-cane Cat and Red-Vine Robbie, walked into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Sitting there on a sugar-toadstool, was an umpa-lumpa, it was green like shrek and had a latex suit in the color of BRIGHT ORANGE!

"Heya toots, whatcha doing here without a man?" The Umpa-Lumpa smooothed his hair up into a spike, trying but failing, to look badass.

"I'm the man!" Robbie shouts, not clear of the high-pitched voice he is using at the moment because Cat made him drink a load of ballons before he drove her in his flying saucer (The sweet version that is BRITISH NOT AMERICAN)to the chocolate factory.

Now many of you think that it is abnormal if you like, to drink baloons, but just take the time to remember that the author here is totally high on soda-pop and candy, so um, yeah.

"Then why are you wearing pink?"

"IT'S SALMON!"

"Okay, okay, I believe you, so what is your name, ravishing red-head?"

"Candy-cane Cat, look!"

After Cat had, squealed her line, she pressed a _pink? _Button on her neck and her face was morphed into the shape of a candy-cane, with love hearts imprinted all over it.

"Yikes! Anything you cam do, salmon shirt?"

Robbie furrowed his eyebrows together in anger and annoyance then unfurrowed his eyebrows and smiled,

"Yes, yes I can."

Suddenly, the pink salmon shirt was gone and Robbie was now a Red-Vine! He moved over to the Umpa-Lumpa and wrapped himself around the Umpa-Lumpa's neck!

"Pa- pa- please, la- le- let, ga- go!"

"Robbie, what are you doing?" Came a voice from the treetops because apparently, Willy-Wonka's factory has trees in it?

Jelly-bean Jade came down from the tree-tops and landed gracefully next to the dying Umpa-Lumpa. Holding his head in her hands and weeping softly.

"Robbie, how could you?" She started throwing magic grenade Jelly-beans. Because this author is insane and thinks that nothing but Robbie in this story would get affected by a load of jelly-bean grenades, the chocolate factory remains how it started out to be.

"Tommie, Tommie can you hear me?" She's shouting in his ear now because she's lost all hope and decide's to give the thing mouth to mouth.

Suddenly, Bubblegum Beck comes swinging out of the trees and onto the little island that Cat, Robbie Jade and Tommie, the umpa-lumpa are sitting, lying and standing on.

The author doesn't care about the dumb umpa-lumpa so she makes Beck stab him with his fishing stick and throw him into a random pit of darkness which seems to have come out of nowhere.

"Beck, why did you do that?" Asks Jade, she looks a bit too innocent after pelting and certain curly haired geek with jelly-bean grenades.

"Because I was jelous of that shrek dwarf because he kissed you, and he stole some of my bubble-gum."

"Which kind?"

"The strawberry one."

"Ya, I guess he deserved it."

"Now kiss me, so we can run off into some sunset, buy a house and have babies."

"Can we have a lemonade stand too?"

"Okay."

So they kissed and it was soooo romantic and x rated because well, it was Beck and Jade and waaaaay to sexy for five year olds to watch!

Bye weirdos.

**So that had NOTHING to do with christmas so, yeah. MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

**xxxxJaiydenxxxx :)**


End file.
